With a track record of turmoil, is it curtains for the workplace relationship?

https://www.theage.com.au/national/with-a-track-record-of-turmoil-is-it-curtains-for-the-workplace-relationship-20220420-p5aetk.html

As office-based affairs continue to generate concerning headlines, specialist consultants and HR gurus agree: the kind of frisson that has produced so many happy marriages is now considered fraught.

High-profile examples in political, sporting and business circles have brought home the risks to employers, although not all companies have introduced transparent rules.

Are office romances a thing of the past?

Nerves will not have been soothed by coverage this week of the ongoing aftermath of the consensual relationship between former federal education minister Alan Tudge and his ex-staffer Rachelle Miller, which has included allegations of bullying and abuse, harassment and what Miller described as a “fake redundancy”.

Jodie Fox, a director of workplace-complaint investigation at mediation consultancy Worklogic, says it was “a really good example of circumstances where there is a real power imbalance between the two members of the relationship and not a lot of systems at the time, or processes in place to manage that”.

Fox is among the employment experts saying intimate relationships should now be HR’s business.

She says employers should require “all employees to disclose sexual, romantic or other close relationships with other employees” or where they think there is a conflict of interest or one could be perceived.

Alan Tudge and his former staffer Rachelle Miller.CREDIT:ALEX ELLINGHAUSEN

A 2020 survey by The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald of 107 top Australian companies about the handling of close personal relationships found a lack of consistent guidelines.

Only 57 companies replied. Of those, some did demand relationships be reported to managers or HR to avoid conflicts and power imbalances, some forbade relationships between people in the same reporting line and six did not allow staff in a close personal relationship to work in the same team, especially if one was more senior.

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Gavin Altus, managing director of workplace compliance specialists Sentrient, thinks “the best-case scenario would be not to do it”.

“In the world we are living in, romance in the workplace is a recipe for disaster – there is so much that can come back on you,” he says.

If you are determined to press ahead, Altus suggests something like: “I feel really uncomfortable putting it out there, and please let me know if I’m making you feel uncomfortable, but would you be comfortable going out on a date to something that’s not work - that’s just between the two of us?”

Sanitised, yes, but he says it eliminates the risk of lines being crossed. Along with alerting management, it’s so very 2022.

Research shows work plays a large role in the development of relationships. US data from 2021 revealed more than a third of people are in or have had a workplace relationship, while a survey by ABC in Australia found 13 per cent had met their partner at work.

However, power imbalances are still a problem and appeared to be a factor in the summary resignations of two senior AFL executives in 2017.

Simon Lethlean resigned as football operations manager after a brief workplace relationship with a more junior AFL staff member.CREDIT:MICHAEL DODGE

Simon Lethlean and Richard Simkiss left after consenting relationships with younger female staff members. The then-chief of Seven West Media Tim Worner was investigated by the board for a relationship with executive assistant Amber Harrison who alleged she was forced out of her job after it ended.

Former chief executive of global insurer QBE, John Neal, lost $550,000 of his bonus for failing to inform the company’s board of his relationship with an executive assistant. Both were retained by QBE in this instance, but, as a general proposition, consequences have frequently been more lasting and severe for women.

Hugh Marks, the former chief executive of Nine Entertainment Co (the owner of this masthead) resigned in 2020 after he went public about his relationship with former direct report and NRL chief commercial officer Alexi Baker.

Maurice Blackburn employment lawyer Josh Bornstein is representing former judge’s associate Sarah Gregory in a complaint lodged with Tasmania’s equal opportunity commission that claims she was “shamed and unilaterally removed” from her role on the staff of Justice Gregory Geason after the pair, who are partners, were photographed embracing.

Former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull introduced a ‘bonk ban’ for ministers in 2018 after it was revealed his deputy, Barnaby Joyce, was in a relationship with a staffer.CREDIT:ALEX ELLINGHAUSEN

Bornstein says Gregory was still in a conventional relationship with Judge Geason, who was supporting her and would give evidence in the case. He says the treatment she claims she was subject to fit with his experience that “it’s usually the woman who misses out, or loses out”.

Bornstein was a critic of the so-called “bonk ban” introduced by then prime minister Malcolm Turnbull that barred ministers from sexual relationships with staffers after the outing of an affair between Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce, who was married at the time, and his media adviser, Vikki Campion.

He says any ban on consensual relationships reduced women’s agency over their choices. Others argue a power imbalance, “diminishes the strength of the consent”.

“It’s really dangerous and difficult to start ... consensual relationships in a workplace; a lot of us meet our partners at work, including me,” Bornstein says. “Sometimes, even with a massive difference in seniority, people can be married and have 14 children and live happily ever after.”

Judith Beck, financial industry recruiter and author of the career manual ‘No Sex At Work’ says her golden rule would be not to have a workplace intimate relationship.

Judith Beck, founder of Financial Executive Women and author of career manifesto No Sex at Work, thinks employees should self-ban.

Beck, who has run a financial industry recruiting firm for more than 25 years, says “my golden rule is I would not do it: it’s not worth it.

“If you just can’t help yourself, then the first golden rule is you need to go to HR to find out what the rules are. And you need to be mindful. I would look at leaving or transferring to another department.”

Australian HR Institute chief executive Sarah McCann-Bartlett says a great help for employees would be more consistent messaging by companies about the behaviour that is accepted, or expected.

“One of the issues we see time and again is that there may be a clear conflict-of-interest policy, but it’s not necessarily communicated clearly and frequently to employees, and managers are not trained in how to have those discussions.”

As sensitive as this may be, much discomfort – or worse – could be avoided if the topic was handled out in the open.